I'd die a thousand deaths before i'd let the stars go out
by ResidentEvilChris
Summary: "We're done" The words resounded throughout the room and they both knew he wasn't just talking about the conversation. He meant them. What they had- whatever it was; was finished. -Or- Sif is made of stars and Loki is a traitor in every way. -Or- Sif and Loki were in a secret relationship and she mourns his apparent death. -Or- It's Sifki. Just shut up and read it.


A/N- Sooooo I haven't wrote anything in forever but I think this may be just a bit better than my usual stuff. I watched Thor the other day and Sifki got stuck in my head any wouldn't go away until I wrote this. This is sort of Sif's head canon during Thor ONE! Disregards any information or canon from Thor one and onwards. Also, this isn't an au, more like a canon divergent because in this Sif and Loki had a relationship of sorts going on before the first Thor. It starts out in the throne room after Sif and the Warriors three have gone to Loki asking him to bring Thor back.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Seriously, if I did i'm pretty sure I wouldn't be on Fanfiction and Sif and Loki would be canon.

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"We're done" The words resounded throughout the room and they both knew he wasn't talking about the conversation. He meant them. Sif and Loki. Loki and Sif What they had- _whatever_ it was; was finished. A million things flitted through Sif's head and she couldn't keep the awestruck look off her face. It was quite a way to end their affair. It wasn't direct but it was **final**. No room for argument, especially not with the others in the room. Sif's incredulity quickly turned to anger and she waited for her friends to turn to leave before sending him a mocking smile on her way out as well.

With Thor's banishment, Loki leading her to betray the crown, and getting nearly killed by the destroyer, it was safe to assume that Sif had very little time to mourn her ended relationship with Loki before she had to mourn Loki _himself_ as well. She was a warrior, however and so she kept her feelings to herself. Made sure her celebratory smile was bright and her recollection of what transpired on Midgard was wildly extravagant and over exaggerated. She thought she had nearly gotten away with it, had successfully fooled everyone into thinking she _wasn't_ split into a million sharp pieces that were cutting into her inside, until Frigga had accepted her condolences with her own hand upon Sif in a comforting gesture and an all too _knowing_ look in her eye.

It didn't surprise Sif that the queen knew she was mourning as well but it did make Sif stop to think about _what_ she was mourning. A traitor. Of course Sif had betrayed Loki as well but Loki knew that her first loyalty was to Asgard and the well being of it. Their betrayals were unequal in nearly every way. Loki had been selfish, and impudent, and quite frankly he had reminded her all too much of a youngling throwing a temper tantrum.

It was accepted, expected even, for Frigga to miss the traitor. Loki was her son if not in blood, then in _every_ other way possible. Who was Loki to Sif for her to miss _him_? A warm bed at night? A silver tongue that made her blush a red that contrasted deeply against the dark that surrounded them in abandoned halls? **No** , Loki was a man that had sworn she was made of stars, _beautiful_ , and _deadly_ , a wonder to the eye, but oh so _untouchable._.

Thor was the first man to believe in her. He was the first agree to spar with her, to invite her to drink with him as an _ally_ , the first for well, nearly everything she had thought she wanted. But Sif was so determined to make sure that Thor saw her as a _warrior_ , eventually he saw her as _only_ a warrior. Loki was the first to see her as **both** a _woman_ and a _warrior_ in a way that made her toes tingle as she pounded on his shield with her mace, eventually splintering it into several pieces.He was the first to take the time to realize that she was hard on the outside but soft on the inside and that coupled with the toe tinging feeling she had made her want to cry out in frustration.

She and Loki joked about their dalliance. They didn't tell anyone about the two of them and pretended to be scornful at _best_ of each other anyone else was around. The pair was full of hidden moments between training sessions and stolen kisses behind book cases. It was a shame that she realized they weren't a game, nor some way to pass the time when they were bored, just after Loki had taken himself out of the game.

"He _fell_ " They had said. Sif wanted to scoff. _He had let go_. Sif knew of his pride, knew how stubborn he was, and how determined he was to win. He wouldn't have easily conceded and he would _never_ give Thor the honor of bringing him back to pay for transgressions.

Made of _stars_ , he had claimed she was. The idea was laughable, what _good_ were the stars when they no longer reflected in his eyes?

How does one win a game when they were competing against themselves? They didn't. Because when you went against yourself, you would always end up both a winner and a loser. Though Sif could feel her loss in her bones, she couldn't yet see how she had won, so she had to assume the game was still going. She just didn't yet know who her new contender was.

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A/N- It's totally Loki. Because as we all know (and a part of Sif thinks) Loki is not yet dead.


End file.
